Tick, one year older. It only takes a second before entering or finishing another year. This month is my birthday month. I will be 29 on the 21st, marking the beginning of my last year being in the twenties. It feels odd, yes. In fact, it resembles the time when I turned 10 or 20. It’s a huge mile stone. After this year, I won’t be in the twenties ever again. God willing, I won’t be submitting more paperwork for my professor. I hope I don’t have to go through the insecurity of what I will be doing or where I should be. I hope I don’t have to find my first job again, nerve wrecking as it was. These experiences are in the past, gone. Maybe I will do it again, but I won’t do it the same way I did when I was twenty. Do I miss those days? Well, yes and no.
I loved high school, college. No responsibility and lots of games. I loved the excitement of looking for my future wife and dating girls to see which one was the lucky one. I consumed myself in studies and learned a lot or drank a lot of mountain dew pulling all nighters for the times I didn’t study much. I loved being free, going anywhere in the world, literally. I loved staying up and sleeping in, feeling groggy in the morning. No one restricted me, but I had parents who would cover me financially. Yes, I was a happy man.
But getting older is not bad either. In fact, it’s a different kind of fun. No, I can’t go around playing like a high schooler or college boy anymore. No, I am half forced to be responsible and work a job I may not particularly enjoy. But only now can I deeply understand the love of a parent. With my age comes a different kind of joy, a joy impossible to explain. You see, now I don’t play too many games, but I play the game of life. I get to learn how to love my wife, to spend time with my baby. I get to sacrifice my time, ministering to others. I get to feel responsible and earn money, providing for my family, giving to the Church. Does that look fun? No, but it sure heck is.
My dad loves Hannah. Many people may say, “Duh” but it’s something important. See, he never really imagined loving a child so much. Each time he looks at her, his joy increases three fold. But you can only be a grandfather once you are a certain age. Duh again. Our joy of being a grandfather is only possible once he is an older person, a person who has experienced many things in life; including hardship and responsibility.
Do you remember enjoying coffee when you were little? No of course not. As a kid, the joy of coffee was incomprehensible. Why would anyone purposely put something bitter in their mouth? Same thing with love. Elementary school kids think girls are cursed! But suddenly, dating someone is a joy. How about work? Who wants to work? But when you do it, you find that you get a sense of fulfillment.
The point is this. Why are you living in the past? There is no such thing as the good old days. There is always something as good coming. Why are you trudging through hardship as though it is the end of the world? The hardship is something that propels you to something better. Why are you dredging responsibility? It only produces joy you never imagined. Yup, it’s in the Bible, look it up (Rm 5:3-4).
I firmly believe that everything can be looked at it positively. As something that will grow us, to give us a deeper joy in everything we do. Suffering, responsibility, growing up is all part of the process, a process for finally enjoying something different than what you are now. Look forward to getting older, or simply, old. It gives you something to look forward to.
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